shishnit.org

As each year ends I always start to plan for what I want to accomplish the next year.  Sometimes I manage to blog my thoughts, but mostly I don’t.  This year I attempted to “have more fun” and to “live with an attitude of grattitude”.  After an entire year of learning to love all that is, regardless of what is.  I have a new understanding for grattitude. I work for a University fulltime and get paid more now than I ever did in my past careers  and they are also paying for my entire graduate program that totals up to over 25k. I’m blessed. I’m working one job and also have straight A’s.  I’m happily married; my son is relatively happy and completely healthy.  My dog doesn’t shed and loves me madly.  I am getting free books sent to me in the mail on a weekly basis and I’m finding time to read them and then review them with my first official writing gig.  I own a house five minutes from the beach. My car is paid off.  I’m not laid off and it’s not snowing in Florida.  My husband still loves me and that’s something I never take for granted.  Rick is also still working and still faithful and the latter is something I never question but I pray daily that he can maintain the job he loves and we can live our slightly boring, often off kilter, crazy busy lives without a financial hitch. 

I have so so much to be grateful for, but I really think it’s a result of my being intuned with the good things and trying desparately hard to ignore the things that have irritated me often this year.  The latter I often ignored so much I barely blogged it.  I’m proud of myself for not giving my energy to negativity this year as often as I managed to obstain. 

Next year, I hope to maintain because the things I am maintaining this year have been blessings.  I’m increasingly happy about being happily married, being happy to come home and being happy in my own skin.  I’m happy with who I am, what I’m doing and more importantly I’m happy with what I am learning and the path that I am on.  However, next year I believe one of my biggest things to work on will be not looking back.  I spend a lot of time looking back and trying to decipher where I went wrong, how I could have changed things, what I might have avoided if I knew then what I know now.  It’s a worthless time waster because I didn’t know then what I know now and I did as well then as I knew how to do then with the person that I was then.

That was then.

This is now.

I want to forget then and live in the now.  I believe I’m early on this but as 2009 is heading for it’s finish line I am happy with how my year went.  I’m thrilled with my newfound confidences in my own abilities and I want to continue to be more and more fearless and in order to be fearless, I must let go of the past.

Year 2010’s buzzwords….NOW NOW NOW…FEARLESS!!  Oh and sprinkle that with a bit of “pay off debt and save more!” and the new slice of ‘10 cake is perfect.